Tag Archives: conversation

Trust in the digital age

I’ve not been blogging for over a year now and it’s not for lack of desire…I’ve just been seriously busy and blogging has fallen down my priority of things to get done. Elderly parent comes first, as a family we moved to San Diego a year ago and settling in here came second, work came third and blogging came after that…

However, as I’ve said for a long time now, trust is crucial in building a high-performing business through high-performing people and I’ve always believed that trust is situational. For instance, I can trust someone to complete a complex task and not trust them to do it on time. There are many better examples of where trust is strictly situational.

John Blakey’s book “The Trusted Executive” sets out the need for trustworthiness as the key descriptor in place of trust. Last week I was fortunate to be at the Vistage UK Executive Summit and heard Rachel Botsman talk on trust in the digital age. What an extraordinarily brilliant talk she gave. It was well design, clear, simple and powerful – with great takeaways. I’d highly recommend her book “Who Can You Trust? (How technology brought us together and why it might drive us apart).

Think about the question “Is this person trustworthy in this situation?” rather than “Can I trust this person?”. Seems not too dissimilar – doesn’t it? The effect on your thinking is immense.

 

Essentialism in a growing team

Reading Greg McKeown’s book “Essentialism” or rather listening to it on Audible, I was struck by the premise that if you only action the absolutely essential activities, you will become more productive, more successful and use less time to do it. I agree with the premise as related to your own goals. How does this work in a team environment? Who decides what is and isn’t essential? Greg makes the point that, if you don’t decide this then someone will decide for you. I believe this is inevitable in many superior/subordinate relationships. However, Greg goes on to point out that it is up to us (in a subordinate role) to influence the activation of the essential activities. The book is certainly worth a read, as is the abridged version.

I believe that multi-tasking doesn’t exist unless one of the activities (out of two total) is an unconscious habit. Those who focus on a single task to conclusion tend to a) be more successful, b) get more done and c) build better – more trusting – relationships. I also believe that performance, productivity, and strong relationships are borne out of growing conversations. Now I have a conflict between the essential activities and the non-essential relationship building activities – or do I?

My view is that it is essential in any team environment (two people or more working to a common goal) to build trust. Trust comes from many areas such as vulnerability, honesty, straightforwardness, openness and shared base core values, amongst others. I prefer to think of it more as someone shows trustworthiness in everything they do. They are trustworthy and what you see is what you get. How do we develop this? I believe through conversation that grows both parties. As Judith Glaser puts it in her book on Conversational Intelligence (another good read)…a real growing conversation is co-creational. That is, we all leave having grown and all having taken away more than we took in.

How would or do you deal with essentialism at the same time as building a trustworthy and bonded team? I’d love your thoughts – thanks.

 

Steve

 

 

Conversational Intelligence

I posted this originally in my Growing Conversations blog site. I thought it was worthy of inclusion here also…

I’m currently following Judith E. Glaser’s online course on Conversational Intelligence. I firmly believe that you can never get enough learning about any form of intelligence if you are in the people business. As coaches we need to understand all elements of our clients behaviour and be able to ask the elegant and/or challenging questions that bring awareness of themselves and how others see and react to them.

Judith has spent a lifetime studying conversation and her book “Conversational Intelligence – How Great Leaders BUILD TRUST and Get Extraordinary Results” is a really good read with many insights.

One immediate insight from the first few page is…

We all know that there are many levels of conversation dependent on who you are conversing with and what the subject and content contain together with the intended outcome. Judith simplifies this to the following (paraphrasing McNulty style)…

Level 1  Transactional – transfer of data e.g. sales to date, EBITda, name of project etc.

Level 2  Positional – instructional conversation where one person is always holding sway and decision authority e.g. discussion between leader and subordinate where the leader is deciding the outcome.

Level 3  Co-creational – where both parties to the conversation agree and work together to co-create a better future for both. Not one of the parties has authority vested for the outcome and only a win-win outcome can bring the conversation to a conclusion.

There are many variations and mixed interpretations that can be added here. However, if we take these three levels as our datum for evaluating the level of conversation we are either about to start, we are in, or we have recently completed, it enables us to understand better the conversation and adjust accordingly.

There are many more great tools, techniques, tips and case studies in Judith’s book. I will pull some out and note them down here occasionally.

Keep talking – it’s our last free interactive resource 😊

Steve